


Small Bump

by All_Hail_Queen_Freddie



Category: One Direction
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Miscarriage, Songfic, h&l have kids, small bump by ed sheeran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 22:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17333738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Hail_Queen_Freddie/pseuds/All_Hail_Queen_Freddie
Summary: you’re just a small bump unborn, in four months you’re brought to lifeyou might be left with my hair, but you’ll have your mother’s eyesi’ll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as i canbut for now you’re scan of my unmade plansa small bump in four months you’re brought to life





	Small Bump

_you're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life_  
you might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes  
i'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as i can  
but for now you're scan of my unmade plans,  
a small bump in four months you're brought to life 

“Lou, are you serious? Don’t screw with me about this stuff,” Harry warned.

“Haz, I’m completely serious. She’s pregnant.” A smile brighter than the sun spread across Harry’s face. “We’re gonna be dads!” Louis almost shouted.

When Louis saw his boyfriend tear up, he ran over to envelop his large torso in a bear hug.

“It’s happening, love.” Louis’ warm, reassuring hand on his back just made Harry cry harder. So many emotions were flooding his heart at once.

Sadness - How were they going to take care of a child on tour?

Happiness - They had both wanted kids since they first met. The fact that it was happening when they were just 19 and 21 was amazing.

Love - Love for his boyfriend, who suggested them getting a surrogate: love for their surrogate, Avery, Louis’ childhood friend: overwhelming love for his unborn child.

_i'll whisper quietly, i'll give you nothing but truth  
if you're not inside me, i'll put my future in you_

“Lou, look at this! Wouldn’t they look so cute in this?” Harry asked as he held up a pale pink onesie.

Louis chuckled at his giddy boyfriend. “Haz, she’s been pregnant for a month. There’s still a long way to go before we get to dress them.”

Harry frowned slightly and put the onesie back on the rack, walking away with less of a spring in his step. Once he was a couple feet away, Louis grabbed the clothes and put it under some of the crisps they were buying, hoping to surprise him later.

_you are my one and only_  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
oh, you are my one and only  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
and you'll be alright 

“What do you think their first word will be?” Louis asked.

Harry took a big gulp of his tea before answering, “Dad? Or maybe it’ll be cat.” He giggled and drank some more tea.

“I think we’d have to have a cat first, Haz.”

“Maybe. Or we could just say it a lot.”

_oh, you're just a small bump unknown, you'll grow into your skin_  
with a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin  
fingernails the size of a half grain of rice  
and eyelids closed to be soon opened wide  
a small bump, in four months you'll open your eyes 

“Harry! Harry! Get over here!” Louis yelled across the house.

As requested, Harry rushed down the stairs. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Avery sent me the sonogram.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows in worry. “Everything’s okay, right?”

“Everything’s more than okay, Haz. Look.” He held his phone out and showed him the picture. “That’s our kid.”

As usual, Harry got emotional. Just like when they found out they were getting a baby, he thought about everything. He had been extra hyped up at concerts recently, and everyone could tell. It wouldn’t be long before Harry just couldn’t keep it a secret from the world anymore. Yes, he and Louis were really young, but they knew they wanted a child from the moment they first kissed.

_and i'll hold you tightly, i'll tell you nothing but truth  
if you're not inside me, i'll put my future in you_

“What about a name, Lou? We haven’t thought of any yet.”

“I have.”

“Really?”

“Of course. But I’ve only thought of names for a girl.”

Harry grinned. “What are they?”

“Jesy, Lili, and Thalia. But my favourite is Sadie.” Harry’s eyes shined at that name. “Sadie it is then.”

“What if it’s a boy?”

“We’ll figure that out if it happens. Maybe we’ll name him after one of the other boys or something.”

_you are my one and only_  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
oh, you are my one and only  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
and you'll be alright 

“A girl? Are you sure?”

Harry’s head whipped around toward Louis.

“Okay, thank you so much. I have to go tell Harry. Bye, Avery.” Harry was already running toward Louis. “Haz, slow down. Don’t use up all your energy before the concert.”

He didn’t listen. “We’re having a girl?”

Louis giggled. “Yeah, babe. We’re getting our Sadie,” he said as he leaned up to kiss Harry’s nose.

_and you can lie with me_  
with your tiny feet  
when you're half asleep  
i'll leave you be 

“Harry. Love, come here.” Louis called for his boyfriend to lay on his chest.

“What’s up?” Harry asked as he got comfortable.

“We need to talk about something,” he swallowed and paused for a second. “Avery called me today.”

Harry grinned and looked up at his boyfriend. “How’s our baby girl?”

Louis shut his eyes tight to hold the tears back.

“Lou?”

“We might… we might not have a baby girl anymore.”

All the colour drained out of Harry’s face. “What do you mean?”

“She told me that our Sadie has immune system issues. So she may not make it.”

Harry shot up off of Louis and away from their bed. “What are we going to do?”

_right in front of me_  
for a couple weeks  
so i can keep you safe 

“Loubear, your phone’s ringing,” Harry grumbled.

Louis reached across him and answered the phone. “Yeah?... What?... Oh my god.” Louis woke up faster than ever before. “Yeah, we’ll be there.” He hung up immediately afterwards and shook Harry. “Haz, we have to go.”

“Nooo, why?” he mumbled, burying his face into his pillow.

“Harry, Avery’s in the hospital.”

His eyes went wide as he got up with Louis. “Is it… Is it Sadie’s immune system?” He was almost scared to ask.

Louis shook his head. “I don’t know. A doctor called me and told me we should come down there since we’re Avery’s emergency contacts right now.”

_'cause you are my one and only_  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight  
you are my one and only  
you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight 

Harry was a loud crier. But he hit a new level of loud when they got back from the hospital.

As Louis looked into the room, his heart broke just a little bit more. There was Harry, huddled in a ball on the floor, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed into a teddy bear they’d bought for Sadie. The light blue room was otherwise exactly how they had left it before they went to the hospital.

Without saying anything, Louis sat down next to him and pulled the younger boy into his lap. Harry shifted to where he was sobbing more into Louis’ shoulder, the bear still clutched tight in his hands. Louis placed a small kiss on the bear’s head and pulled Harry even closer as he finally let the tears fall. He’d been holding them back, staying strong, until they got home. But now that they were in private, they could let everything go. Including Sadie. They didn’t want to, but they needed to eventually.

They had lost their baby girl.

_and you'll be alright_

“No! You can’t make me do this! It’s awful! And it’ll absolutely destroy Harry.”

“Actually, yes I can. You’re under contract, Louis.”

“Fuck you, Simon! Fuck. You,” Louis yelled and flipped his boss off. How was he going to tell Harry that he would have to pretend to be the father of someone else’s child? Someone that wasn’t the love of his life.

_'cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life  
maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why_

“Lili! Where’s your sister?”

“Avery’s in our room.”

“Why?”

“She’s mad ‘cause I ate her last cookie.”

Louis frowned. “Lili, you already had three today, you didn’t need another. Can you go apologise to your sister please while I go get her another one of your Daddy’s homemade cookies?” She nodded and hurried upstairs.

“Haz, there’s still a couple of cookies left, right?” He asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Of course. Do you know where James is?”

“I think he’s in his room. I’ll go check.” Louis reached over to grab a cookie, kissed his husband on the cheek, and left the room.

“James? Are you up here?”

“Yeah, I’m in the music room,” he called back.

Louis climbed the last couple of steps and walked into the first room, one filled with instruments and posters. But James, Louis and Harry’s oldest child, was sat by the closet next to a pink bin. Louis immediately knew what it was. “What are you up to?”

“Dad, who’s Sadie?”

James heard his dad take a deep breath before he sat down next to him. “Sadie was your sister. Your aunt Avery, our surrogate as you already know, had a late miscarriage about six years before you were born,” he said as he picked up the teddy bear he hadn’t touched in years. Louis looked over at his son to see him looking at the sonograms that stopped right before 5 months.

“Could I maybe keep one of these?” he asked.

“Of course. You can keep any of this that you want. Except the teddy bear.” Louis stood up and grabbed the last sonogram. He folded it up and tucked it into the torn seam of the bear’s left foot.

He took it into his and Harry’s bedroom and set it in the back of the closet, knowing that it was the most important thing to both of them to remember their unborn daughter. No matter how much pain it brought them, it also brought them closer together and made them realise they were going to last. They had to.

**For Sadie.**


End file.
